Tuesday, January 9, 2007

Sentiment Behind Your Wedding Ring - a husband's viewpoint

My sister’s oldest son is to be married in August. When his grandmother passed away she left my nephew her engagement ring for his future bride. Unfortunately, to his dismay, the diamond appeared to break when he went to his mall jeweler to have the diamond placed in a new setting. His mother quickly offered the diamond from her engagement ring, as she had always wanted a larger, higher grade diamond. This caused my brother-in-law to have a fit.

I agreed with my brother-in-law. This is a gift of love that should be kept!

Neither my wife nor my sister understood why the men would object, strenuously, I might add, to my sister giving her engagement diamond away.

And women think men are not sentimental! We are! They think that the gifts of jewelry are not important to us. However, men are not allowed to openly express their sentiments or deep feelings. Other men ridicule a man’s deep passions. Women tell other women of their man’s deep passions and sensitivity. Men are embarrassed by such disclosures. Whether its genetics or training, it doesn’t matter. Men cannot bear to be ridiculed about things that are extremely near and dear to them. So we bury those passions, deep inside. Where no one can see.

But we do express them. In acts, that may be simple. In giving up watching a football game to go and visit our mother in law. In praising a meal that is truly terrible. By complimenting a dress we hate. By attending piano recitals. And through gifts.

No other gift will reveal the depth of feelings. As financial conditions change, the engagement ring may not be the most expensive gift ever given, but, to the husband it will always be the most valuable.

It is not the issue of money that makes it valuable, but the expression of the heart.

It is one of the very few times a man can express his deepest feelings openly, without fear of ridicule. The expense of the engagement ring may not matter to the woman. It matters to the man. Men will spend as much as they can possibly justify to express the depth of their love, of their commitment, of how they treasure you.

All men glow inside when their intended first puts the ringon their finger. If the love is true, the glow returns everyday. Unmentioned, unnoticed and undeniably there.

All other purchases of jewelry evoke the same emotions in men. Any man can buy his wife an article of jewelry without chastisement from his friends. Falling at his wife’s feet and crying out the depth of his feelings would only expose the man, at least in his mind, to contempt and ridicule. An emerald, great or small, allows the expression of love and adoration without exposure to ridicule.

So, when your man gives you an article of jewelry, be it gorgeous estate diamond earrings, a big unique ring,a dainty antique ring or a vintage emerald ring, he is telling you that you are his treasure. It is your ultimate assurance of his continuing love and affection.

Enjoy it. Delight in it. You cannot judge him by the gift he can afford. Finances will always vary. Judge only that this is his ability to express his true love for you.

And back to my nephew, his future bride now wears a new engagement diamond. One to treasure forever.

Ten Two Three Estate, Antique and Contemporary Vintage Jewelry